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A Clean Hole Takes The Pole

A Clean Hole Takes The Pole

How to make sure you’re ready for the party down under!

Recently, I’ve been at two different functions in town where people have come up to me and asked for an article about the proper way for a man to clean out. I was surprised to have a friend ask me at a business networking event, and then a few weeks later at the Ramrod, another person came up and asked me to please educate people on how to make sure they don’t bring a mess to the party, if you know what I mean. PIGSwap is about learning how to be a better gay man, and ironically, live a cleaner and healthier life, and if this is something that the public wants to learn about, then by all means, it’s our job to help make your lives and your sex lives better.

So, by popular demand, here are the reasons to clean out and several different options for you to choose from when making sure you’re ready for a good time. All men, regardless of the frequency with which you wish to be plowed, should know the basics of proper hygiene when it comes to keeping your rectum and anus clean.

Anal and colon health are important for all, but for active bottoms, they are paramount. To us, the anus is not only an “exit.” It is a vital part of our sexual pleasure, a secondary or even primary sexual organ. Of course, proper diet is an important factor in colon health, but keeping the colon and anus healthy is relatively easy. Simply use common sense.

First of all, please don’t call it a douche! That may be the term that people use to define cleaning out, but in reality a douche is used for feminine hygiene and instead, an enema is used for cleaning your anus. The best reason to clean out your hole is for the sensation of it all. Think about it guys! We don’t normally hold feces in the colon, but there is always residue clinging to the colonic walls. This residue hinders the sensation of pleasurable sex. Plus, it’s a much more pleasurable experience when you don’t feel like you’re full!

Throughout the history of the modern world, people have been cleaning out for many different reasons. One of which is for anal intercourse, but there are medical reasons why people should clean out, especially for a colonoscopy. In the 17th century, a Clyster was invented to shoot water up inside one’s rectum and used up until the 19th century when the plunger style enemas were largely replaced by enema bulb syringes and bags.

The main concerns with cleaning out are that adding water into the anus can damage the delicate lining of the bowel. This can increase the chance of sexual infections, of most concern HIV. Passing the tube into the rectum can also cut and scratch so it’s important to make sure plenty of lubrication is used and that the attachment you place inside you is nice and smooth. If you develop sudden bleeding, unusual sensations or dull achy pain it’s important to seek medical help immediately. Remember, as with anything in life, moderation is the key. Don’t overdo it! Eating cultured dairy products, such as yogurt or taking a daily supplement, can help maintain a healthy colony of beneficial flora in the digestive tract.

Because the lining of the ass is very delicate it’s important not to use any additives to the water as they may increase irritation. By far, the most important tool for reducing potential sexual infections, if you do choose to douche, is to have safe sex and use condoms. Not only do they protect against infections but can also be much easier to clean up if there are any accidents.

Cleaning out is a simple and easy process. Remember not to use too much water, or water that is too hot or too cold, as this can irritate your sensitive interior. A good rule of thumb is to evacuate the dance floor, if you know what I mean. Take a decent bowel movement before you jump into the shower. Another rule of thumb to remember, make sure the water that you put up inside you, comes out. Sometimes water can get trapped up inside you and you don’t want to experience a flash flood during intercourse, so keep in mind that you want to make sure it’s all out of you. There are a few different methods to keep in mind when choosing the right cleaning system, including shower shots, enemas, and even the “Redneck Bottle Method,” which can come in handy in a pinch.

The first method, which I highly recommend for anyone who plans on being a dynamite bottom, is the shower shot method. This is a shower cleaning system that you can install in your shower at home, which will help you to make sure that you’re ready for any party. Generally, the attach at the shower head and have a selector valve so you can use either the shower shot hose and handle, or you can use the shower. This method is very sanitary and clean and you can save time and money using this method over store bought enemas or the shower bags, which need replacing.

In the shower, simply clean around your anus with soap and water, rinse and then insert the rounded part into your rectum for a few seconds, while the water flows inside you. Make sure the water pressure is not too high and that the water is at a warm temperature. Your bowels do not have pain receptors like on your skin so it is possible to bump and even tear the lining of the colon and not notice it. Once again, and I can’t stress this enough, if you feel any sensitivity, or experience any bleeding at all, stop what you’re doing and seek medical attention immediately. Anal bleeding could be caused by a small tear, or it could be the sign of an STD or a medical condition that should get checked by a doctor.

The next method we will discuss is the enema. “An enema is the procedure of introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus. The increasing volume of the liquid causes rapid expansion of the lower intestinal tract, often resulting in very uncomfortable bloating, cramping, and powerful peristalsis, a feeling of extreme urgency and complete evacuation of the lower intestinal tract. An enema has the advantage over any laxative in its speed and certainty of action, and some people prefer it for this reason.” — Wikipedia

Most enemas are small bottles, or bulbs that when squeezed, will push the liquid inside the bottles up inside your rectum. These are often a one-time shot! Many self-given enemas used at home are the packaged, disposable, sodium phosphate solutions in single-use bottles sold under a variety of brand names, or in generic formats. One of the most common available in most stores is the Fleet brand enemas, which contain a saline solution which flushes out your bowels. These units come with a lubricated nozzle attached to the top of the container. Some enemas are administered using so-called disposable bags connected to disposable tubing.

Then there’s my favorite method of all, not because it’s fancy, but because it’s funny! The “Redneck Bottle Method” is great for a quick and easy clean when you don’t have the shower shot around, on vacation or away from home, and you just want a quick clean. This method is not intended for long play sessions, but it can come in handy when you want to have some fun on the road. So what is the “Redneck Bottle Method,” you ask?

First, this method is cheap and easy and you can find everything you need at any 7-11 or gas station around the world. I recommend a 1-Liter bottle of Coca-Cola, but really, any plastic bottle will do. It’s been my experience that a 1-Liter bottle has enough water and when squeezed, produces just enough pressure to get you prepped for at least a 6- or 7-incher in a pinch. Empty the bottle (Do not use the carbonated soda for cleaning out!) and rinse it out thoroughly using soap and water. Once it is clean, fill the bottle to the rim with water, place the open bottle up to your rectum, without penetration, and squeeze the bottle. The rush of water up inside your rectum will flush out any mess. Fill the bottle up again and repeat the procedure a few times until you feel confident that you’re ready to go. One bottle can be reused several times over one weekend road trip, so in case you’re ever out in the woods with a hot bear and you’re ready to get down, you can still make sure you’re not dirty!

Disclaimer: Douching will in no way prevent the transmission of any STD. However, it may help minimize the risk of minor bacterial infections for both partners. 

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