So with all these apps online and in our hands these days, it may seem like the old days of cruising are long gone. But don’t put all of your hopes in technology. The timeless art of cruising is still important for everyone to know. You can’t live your life with your eyes on your cell phone, so remember, it is vital to gain the ability to catch someone’s eye in the real world. It will not only help you get a guy, but it will also help you in business and relationships in general. The following tips are for those guys who would like to learn how to cruise in real time.
Try to make sure someone knows where you are going. It may seem like a paranoid precaution but it only takes one bad experience to make it worthwhile. If you are going cruising, especially on your own, make sure at least one person knows where you will be and when. Or if you prefer not to let anyone know what you’re up to, you may also leave a note of your location, or whom you are meeting, in case anything does happen.
Never rely on anyone else to make the preparations for the two of you and no matter how unbelievably appealing they might be, trust that a potential partner is completely safe of STD’s. If there is even the slightest inkling of a chance that you may be having sex, take condoms and lube with you. If you are experiencing any symptoms, be smart and refrain from sex with anyone until you have seen a doctor and have been cleared for sexual intercourse.
Now that those are out of the way, let’s discuss the fun stuff! Cruising for dick and how to do it.
Where to go?
Gay nightclubs and bars may have events or popular underwear nights that may allow play. In many cities, there are places like bathhouses where you can go to meet someone without fear of police or getting caught. If you’re in an area that does not have a bathhouse, guys have taken to public bathrooms or parks to meet guys for recreational sex. While these may have been popular options in the past, today, the law has figured out that many of these places are hot spots for gay cruising and may have officers patrolling these areas. It is best to know the places you are cruising and know the area well. Before you start cruising in these public areas, try going during the day to scope out the area, especially if you plan to go back after dark. Try to avoid places like rest stops where police may be prevalent.
If out and about in a well-known spot, try to avoid interactions with people who are obviously not there for the same reason as you. Not only will it avoid awkward interactions, it could avoid potentially dangerous ones. Try to be subtle about your intentions.
Make Eye Contact
It’s difficult to find out if someone is there for cruising if you can’t see them. Make eye contact, a small smile goes a long way, and give them a naughty smile. Look out for the signals that they are there for the same purpose as you. Classic examples are crotch rubbing or foot tapping in the bathroom. Sometimes cruising may be as simple as a head nod and a “hey” but remember that every situation is different.
Wear Something Suitable
Don’t wear expensive gear or a new pair of shoes. The ground may be muddy and if it’s dark you may not be able to see where you’re walking. Wear jeans or long socks if you plan on walking through grassy areas. If it is cold, dress accordingly. Put your keys, money and anything else you don’t want to lose in a secure, zipped pocket, or better yet…
Leave Your Valuables at Home
You won’t need your credit cards or a wad of cash. If you take your phone, put it in silent mode and keep it out of sight. Don’t walk around checking Grindr on your new smartphone. Not only will you be advertising it to potential pickpockets, but you may miss out on guys who are cruising you.
Be Clear About Your Intentions
Even once you’ve hooked up with someone, there may not be much verbal communication. However you can’t expect him to read your mind. If you’re confident and make it clear what you want, the chances are he’ll be more relaxed too. If you want to fuck him, tell him – or take out a condom – and see how he reacts. If you want to get fucked, he’ll definitely get the message if you put a condom on his cock.
Keep Clear of Trouble
There may be occasions when you need to refuse unwanted advances or find yourself in a difficult situation. Try to avoid confrontation, but be prepared to raise your voice or push someone away if they continue trying to do something after you’ve said no. If you’re the victim of a crime, like theft, assault or homophobic abuse, or if you witness something happening, you might feel reluctant to go to the police in case you get asked why you were there.
In fact, it’s not against the law to go to a cruising area or even to have consenting sex with someone, but in most states, it is against the law to expose genitals in a public place, so if you go to meet someone in a public place, try not to have sex there, unless you are completely sure that you are in private and will not be caught.
Don’t Expect a Second Date
Most guys who cruise bathrooms or public areas are doing so because they do not consider themselves gay, and therefore don’t want to meet guys in gay bars or typical pick-up places. So if you have fun with a guy you’ve met in a public park, don’t expect him to pull out his phone to add your digits or hand you a business card. Chances are, it’s a one-time hook-up, unless you happen to meet him there again.
While these are some tips on how to safely maneuver cruising for a date in real time, it is always best to try to meet up with someone online, or on your apps on your phone, and ask him pertinent questions that will help you judge the situation and learn if this is the right guy for you. Read more about the “20 Questions” you should ask every guy before you ask him out for a date.